10 Simple Steps to Develop Self-Love

We spend so much time working on our relationships, body, career, social life, and other priorities. Caught up in the act of juggling all this, we overlook the importance of doing work on the inside.  Well, you are nothing short of a one-of-a-kind unprecedented individual. So, you might as well reignite the inner love for yourself and cherish what makes you unique. If you cannot come to love yourself, you will not be able to project the warmth of love onto the world and soak it back in when others send it your way.


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Forge a mindset


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It all starts with the shift in a mindset and your self-perception. These two aspects have a lot to do with how others define us through titles, roles, labels, relationship statuses, net worth, achievements, etc. Alas, even when combined, they are utterly inaccurate and incomplete accounts of who you are. Your true identity stems from something deeper and more eternal than the changing life circumstances.



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Embrace your quirks and things that make you unique. Society is an extremely poor judge of individual qualities and character, as it tries to standardize and generalize. Therefore, instead of trying so hard to meet other people’s expectations, uncover your true nature and do not be afraid to be authentic. Let your freak flag fly— it is one of the most empowering and liberating things you can do.

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Practice self-care

Furthermore, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep whenever possible to revitalize your mind and body. Engage in regular physical activity, be it a yoga class, cycling to work, gym or running sessions. Start eating healthier— put together a nutrient-packed, balanced diet and stay hydrated. Leave some time in the schedule for pure pastime relaxation.


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Do what you love

Speaking of which, you need to start doing what you love in order to reestablish inner calm and peace.  Take a break and reconnect with your innate drives and passions. Find time for the hobby you have been putting away for a long time. You will be able to melt away the stress and then tackle various life challenges with new winds in your sails.

Write it down


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Many people have discovered the therapeutic and other benefits of putting the thought into writing. Did you also know that writing every day is associated with success in life? You might think that social media statuses already fit the bill, but why not write without thinking about how others will react to it. In other words, you might want to start keeping a personal diary.  Pour your soul onto its pages.

Listen to yourself


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Learn to carefully listen to your inner voice. Nobody is more qualified to decide what is good for you in terms of long-term happiness and fulfillment. If that voice is full of resentment, anxiety, fear, and other negative emotions, you need to stop being so harsh on yourself. We are all vulnerable and insecure, but think about your qualities and celebrate the best moments life has in store.

Manage emotions better

Emotional stability is a fickle thing. Sooner or later, we are thrown off balance wrestling with anger and pain. You should never beat yourself up for it. Trying to suffocate your feelings never really works and brings only temporary relief in the best case scenario. Often, it is better to hoist a white flag and cling to it. Examine where do you feel the pain in your body— it can be a really telling sign.

Take care of your looks


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Although appearances do not make a human, they can certainly help one increase self-worth and satisfaction. Feel free to buy new clothes, self-care products, and look at yourself in the mirror. Rest assured that there is no such thing as being perfect and we should abandon that futile pursuit. Accept your flaws as an integral part of who you are and boost your self-confidence.

Treat yourself


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Material things cannot buy happiness and love, but they are stepping stones to it. Namely, it is perfectly fine to pamper yourself a bit. Treat yourself to a delicious meal or take a weekend off. You also do not have to wait for others to buy you something nice. Shop around for adorable and unique gifts, trigger feel-good hormones in the brain, and put a smile back on your face.

Set boundaries

Saying that simple word “no” often comes hard for people, yet is crucial for cultivating self-love. Draw some lines between what you love and enjoy and things that only deplete your energy and willpower. It can be anything from extra work obligations to activities that strain you mentally, etc. Take the pressure off yourself and pivot to things that fill you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Fostering a positive change


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Self-love is not a state of feeling good that comes and goes. It must be actively nurtured and built. So, mute the noise of the outside world and change the negative mental tape. Enrich your relationship with yourself and build healthy everyday habits. Shift your focus to positive attributes and look at the bright side of life. All the small changes add up and spill over from one area of your life to another. It is time to make yourself feel whole and worthy again.

- Gust post by Stella Van Lan -

Stella van Lane is a passionate writer in love with coffee, chocolate, music, books and good vibes. Her top interests are health, yoga, meditation and interior design.

Thank you Stella for this amazing post. Thank you for not online inspiring me but I know this will inspire others as well! - Caroline

Leave a comment below telling us at least one step you can take to further develop self-love!